Making Set

Note: Here’s another pidgin flash fiction story I found from 2017. 

Adwoa dey pressure me make we born. Everyday I dey hear “I want to be a mother!” for house. I no make set, I dey tell am. 

“Everyday you no make set!” Always she dey shout put my top. Everyday this woman want dey my top. She dey search fight. But as she be my woman, I know how I fit yob am. Instead sey we go fight, we go end up for the bed top. That one sef be another problem. I go start wear condom then this woman go vex again.

“Everyday condom! Impregnate me! Aren’t we married?” 

I no know how I go make she understand.

Today we say we dey commot go chop for outside. Ebe something we dey do sekof we want keep things fresh. We dey like dey chop love as if we just crush. Adwoa dey the car inside dey do like sey she vex, but me naa I see sey she make excited. She dey like sey I go carry am commot. She dey like dey dress up then eat for fancy places. I no sheda dey like chop for restaurant but I no dey mind. As today she forget sey she go pressure me about the kiddie matter, I never bore.

We stop for traffic light wey some kiddie come pɛtɛɛ the car window dey ask for money. Girout! I shout put ein top wey I move the car. This kiddie no wan gree. He follow me dey ask for money. Adwoa laugh wey she carry ein hand chook ein purse inside. She remove some coins wey the kiddie run go ein side claim am. 

“Madam, Gorbless-you!” E shout wey e boot come my side again. So e dey want money from me too? The light turn green wey I step the accelerator top lef am. 

We catch the restaurant wey Adwoa start dey laugh. I no park sef this woman dey laugh make tears sef dey fall from ein eyes. 

Ah, why you dey laugh? I ask am. Sekof I no talk anything funny. The radio sef dey on BBC, so what at all she dey laugh at? She carry ein hand chook ein bag inside.

“I couldn’t wait any longer,” she pull pregnancy test commot, “we are having a child.”

I no fit talk. My “I no make set” excuse sef no fit commot from my lips. This woman dey spy my face dey expect response. But my face all make blank. Nothing dey my mind top sekof everything dey my mind top. I dey think of the times my old boy struggle find money pay my school fees. The times wey e go booze come shout put my top sey e no dey barb why I no fit get better grades. Shout put my top sey me I be ein punishment, like e for use condom. What be my use? Why at all I come the world inside? 

All these things dey my mind top. 

I park wey I commot from the car inside. Adwoa still dey tap inside, but she no dey laugh again. Ein face all make sad. Be like I disappoint am. I close my door wey I see sey something dey top. Somebody rep something for the dust inside plus ein small finger.

Folish bastad

That fucking kiddie! That fucki-

I start dey laugh. The thing dey funny me sekof ebe true. How my wife, somebody wey I swear sey I dey love, go come tell me news like this wey I no go mind am? Wey shit that? 

I walk go ein side wey I gbele the door give am.

“We’ll make this work, I promise.” I tell am, wey I hold ein hand help am commot from the car. She watch me wey she smile.

That be when I realise sey I make set.