We Have Transcended Patriotism Here in Ghana

Dear Party Footsoldier, I am sorry. Truly. From the bottom of my heart – yes, the one that you are always causing to overwork because I have always been annoyed by your politics – I ask for your forgiveness. Because, as I write you this letter, my eyes have been opened. 

 

When I called you unpatriotic because you support political parties over your own country, I had not yet come to the truth of the matter. It was very narrow-minded of me. Now, after extensive discussions with twitter bots whose sole aim is to tweet #4More4Nana or #JMToaso and other hashtags relevant to their existence, I have arrived at the conclusion that I am in the wrong. Again, I wholeheartedly apologise. 

 

I used to think that patriotism was the way forward. That putting country first, before everything else, was how we would develop. But I’ve come to understand that it is an archaic notion that does not sit well with today’s level of politics. You guys have been playing chess while I’ve been sitting down playing draughts. In terms of intellectual capacity, you have already arrived, and I am now packing my things to set off on the journey.

 

You, may ask: if patriotism is archaic, what is the way forward? I will tell you the answer shortly. Before I do so, I must of course precede it with this introduction because the answer came to me after many a sleepless night, and I do not want to spoon-feed you. So first, we shall deconstruct the myth of Ghanaian patriotism.

 

Patriotism is defined as a love for country, and a willingness to sacrifice for it. This is the exact reason why it will never work in a country like Ghana. Why? Because first of all, we never got the opportunity to define our own country. Lines were drawn on a map for us without our consent, and so the concept of Ghana as a country is still fairly new to us. This is why people sit in Accra and write “policy” online for the entire country. Let’s do this, and let’s do that. We do not fully understand what a country means, and so it is not possible for us to be patriotic. This is a concept I was struggling with before, but I see it clearly now. 

 

So, the question still stands: If Ghanaians cannot be patriotic, what can we be? Well, Reader, if you would be so kind as to allow me, a humble footsoldier, to present a new concept for your equally humble consideration. I call it new only because it is new to me. But this is a concept that has been practiced since before Nkrumah was smuggled into Ghana as a UGCC sponsored agitator. This is the concept that makes JJ Rawlings a hero even though he should be drowning in his many sins. What I describe is the concept of Partriotism. With a hard R.

Before going into too much detail, let us first define what Partriotism is: 

 

Partriotism

/par-tree-oh-tizm/ (n.)

  1. Love of political party, and willingness to sacrifice for it. 

Eg. A. That guy believes everything the president says, he exhibits true partriotism! 

 

Partriot

/par-tree-ot/ (n)

(adj. Partriotic)

  1. Someone who loves a political party, and is willing to sacrifice for it.

Eg. . Kwaku Ansah is defending the opposition because he’s a partriot!

     2. (can also mean) Someone who only loves his country part-time. 

Eg. My MP suddenly cares about the constituency during election season. Personally I think he’s a partriot.

 

You understand how partriotism is defined? Good. Now, I would like to introduce you to some other elements of the concept. Firstly, it is important to note that partriotism is allegiance to a political party. The keyword here is party. Have you ever been to a party? You see where I’m going? Partriotism teaches you that governance is to be taken lightly. That’s why when Vice Prez Bawumia screams “the fundamentals are weak!” you must hear the fun in fundamentals and run with that. It is paramount that we make the fundamentals strong. We have to have a lot of fun with governance! This is why the Presidency and the Auditor-General can enter clout wars on social media. This is also why our campaign season are characterised by catchy tunes, and party-themed rallies. We even share food, because what’s a party without food? We bring musicians to perform and we play loud music. You say political rally, I say jams. Why do we do this? Because Government and Enjoyment both end in ment because they are ment to go hand in hand. 

 

If you don’t understand partriotism now, you probably never will. This is not something to be ashamed of, don’t worry. Only the few of us who are intelligent enough will ever truly understand it. Yes, some of us get paid to call in on radio shows or lie on social media, but that’s beside the point. The true heart of partriotism is that we want to see Ghana get better…for ourselves. And if you don’t want to see Ghana get better for us too, maybe you should question why you do not like to see your fellow Ghanaians win? You need prayers. 

 

However, if you fully understand what it means to be a partriot, I want to educate you on things you can do to further our wonderful cause: 

  • Whenever you are in a position of power, and you have a meeting, make sure to take care of your stomach before you take care of the affairs of the state. The old saying goes “the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach” and as a Partriot you have Ghana on your heart. So you satisfy yourself, that we may be satisfied.

 

  • Enjoy yourself. The country is not going anywhere. No I don’t mean to say we have visionless leaders, I’m trying to say Ghana is physically not going anywhere. If you sleep today, and wake up tomorrow, Ghana will still be here. So you have time. And what do you do when you have time? You enjoy yourself. Go to work late. Don’t hand in reports on their deadline. Skip meetings in the same way a young child skips to go eat. Travel to other countries and see how they are always rushing.The Swiss are always on time? Good for them. All that hurry will only lead them to an early grave. And that will not be your portion as a Partriot.

 

  • Engage small-minded Ghanaians in the way and manner they deserve. They don’t see the big picture like you do. No, they are too focused on small things like hunger and unemployment and load-shedding. In this day and age who even calls it load-shedding? Everything is about good PR and so now it’s referred to as effective energy management. Yes, so when they shout, go on the radio and lie to them. Tell them to calm down but you’re working on things. Use confusing terms like “Plans are far advanced” because they won’t know what that means. And when they shout too much, you appease them by giving them a church. Any hungry Ghanaian that is too hungry to pray, is that one really a Ghanaian?

 

  • Defend senseless policies with all your heart and soul, because they are your bread and butter. Who are they to tell you that corruption is not a part of governance? After all the inflated infrastructure you built for them? How dare they insult the policy of the NDC government? And what do they mean by creating a new Voter’s Registry is a bad idea during a pandemic? Do they know what is a bad idea during a pandemic? The NPP losing an election! As a matter of fact, don’t even grace their arguments with a reply. You’re better than them…literally.

 

Now that we have learned some of our duties as true partriots of the country, you must recite the Footsoldier’s Pledge in order to be initiated. 

 

The Footsoldier’s Pledge

I promise on my honour

To be faithful and loyal to the [insert political party name].

I pledge myself to the service of the Party

with all my strength and with all my heart.

I promise to hold in high esteem

The Culture of Silence won for us 

Through the bribery and corruption of our fathers; 

and I pledge myself in all things 

to uphold and defend the propaganda of the Party.

So help me God.

 

20 thoughts on “We Have Transcended Patriotism Here in Ghana

  1. “Any hungry Ghanaian that is too hungry to pray, is that one really a Ghanaian?” Lol

    Fui, you’ve said it all. In fact it reiterates the point that the difference between those in power and those not there is opportunity. When the latter have the opportunity to be in power, they’ll be no different from those there.

  2. Yes!!!! This is what I want to see, lovely read! I saw a post on Twitter today saying that Ghanaians are not angry enough and I agree. I felt the rage and the humor in this read. Well Done, Antony. a Few more like this.

  3. I am gate-crashing this party where is the bar so we can discuss copyrights with the lawyers since i want to start my won party too
    This is brilliant
    ~B

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