Solomon Forson, Creative Writer.

And Solomon Forson is back! Read the first Solomon Forson story here.

 

Sir,

REPORT

As per your request I have been keeping tabs on Solomon FORSON; a student I most frankly feel should not be in this esteemed institution. I write this letter instead of approaching you personally because I feel my objection to his remaining a student must be officially recorded.

FORSON has a history of showcasing disrespect to both teachers and the rules and regulations of this establishment. A term ago he was stripped off his position as the bell monitor because he kept ringing the bell approximately ten minutes before the actual time. His excuse that his watch didn’t provide him with the correct time was exactly that; an excuse. That, however, is not what this letter is about.

The English Department received news of an essay-writing competition being held by the Ghana Education Service (GES). A call was made for essays by students of appropriate ages on the topic ‘Investment’. The English Department held a meeting and it was decided that an in-house competition would be held. The best work would then be selected and submitted to the GES for consideration. This minor vetting process would ensure that the works that left the school were of the standard that this institution is famed for. The competition was successful and the works of six students were selected and submitted. I feel it is important to mention that FORSON did not take part in this arrangement under the pretexts of not being up to the task.

Sir, I received a letter yesterday with a document attached to it (which I have in turn attached to this letter). The letter was from the GES notifying me of the cancellation of an essay submitted by the school for failure to comply with set grammar standards. You can imagine my horror upon first reading this letter. Did it mean that we had failed as an English Department? That we, with more than fifty years of teaching experience between me and my colleagues, had failed to identify grammatical errors in our children’s essays? I reread the letter and to my horror the essay in question was written by one Master Solomon FORSON. I was confused at first, because I knew for a fact that he hadn’t taken part in the internal competition. Which could only mean, sir, that he had submitted his essay on his own, behind our backs! I was beside myself with anger, to say the least. You can imagine my pain when I briefly (my heart could not take the prolonged punishment) glanced through the essay.

Sir, I am shocked. But I will say no more, and leave the perusal of the essay to you. But I must voice out that I strongly feel FORSON must not go unpunished. When the decision to punish him is reached, permit me to suggest some form of internal suspension (if you decide not to expel him) that would require a lot of physical labour. Ever since Lomottey the labourer retired, there has been a fall in the maintenance culture of the school and hence, a lot of work to be done on campus.

Yours faithfully,

THERESA BENTSIL

HOD, English Department

Encls.

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Dear Sir/Madam

CANCELLATION OF ESSAY 

We write to inform you of the cancellation of an essay submitted by one of your students as way of participation in our nationwide essay competition; a recognised  part of this year’s Independence Day Celebrations.

The reason being your pupil submitted a work that did not comply with laid down principles of English Grammar. This competition is a formal one, and proper grammar falls under one of the criteria being used for judgement.

However, I would like to congratulate Master Solomon Forson upon entering a brave new world. His work remains a personal favourite and is one of a kind. I hope he keeps this up.

Sincerely,

Martha Aikens

Deputy Director of Public Relations and Events, GES

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Investment

Ball be investment. This matter be simple. If you get money wey you take buy food by the time you fini dey chop am, the Ghana sun go suck the chow all for your stomach inside. As you dey pay the woman sef you go start dey hong again. If you get money wey you take buy shadda, one day  the shadda no go fit you again. You no make lucky sef, before that day go come e go tear. Phone? If you buy phone you always for buy credit before you go fit use am. That one too be your money e dey go. Apart from that one you for charge the phone. Your light bill too dey increase. If you take your money buy kick e go spoil. E no spoil sef you go grow pass am. Wey you no go fit wear am everyday.

But ball no be so. If you buy ball plenty things dey you go fit take do.

  1.  Exercise.

We get more than thousand games you go fit take case five play wey all of them dey involve running. We get:

i. Suulia for beatings:

Teachers always dey talk sey ebi dangerous but that be lie. Eno be dangerous. I see the name for this kind game for net top. Ebi Extreme Sport. This game dey teach people them dey play say them for be alert. You no for make the ball pass between your legs. If you slack wey e pass there, you for be fast. You for run go touch the pole sekof everybody for the field top go fit beat you. If you touch the pole before you go be safe. E get moral sef. The game dey teach young people sey in life things no go be easy, but you never for give up till you see the finish line.

ii. Driivings to goal: 

This game too be simple. One keeper go dey one pole inside, wey every man for ein sef. You for dribble everybody then score your own goal. This also be exercise. The sense e dey back be sey them no born two human beings at the same time. Even twins dey come one after the other. So the same way them born you alone, the same way for life inside nobody be your friend except God. Eno be force sey anybody for help you make am.

iii. Shootings: 

This game be similar to driivings but the difference be sey if somebody score e get bullet e go fit take jie somebody for the game inside. That be the shooting. One by one them go jie people from the game till e lef last man standing then the keeper. Then them go play apenalties. The moral for this one be two. Number one be say nobody be your friend. If e lef you then your paddy for the field top sef if e score e go shoot you. Sekof if you score too you go shoot am.

The second moral dey inside the shooting. Some people no dey like dey shoot plain plain. Them want do am in a way so sey them no go get enemies for the field top. So them get different ways them go do am. Some of the popular ones be:

a. Tear gas! – if them shout tear gas! e mean sey everybody except the shooter for lie floor. The last person e go lie floor be the person them go shoot.

b. Another tactic be sey the shooter go tell everybody sey make them go bring am something. That thing go fit be leaf or ice water rubber or anything e dey round. If you be the last person to find the thing, or you no find am at all sef, e mean sey you for go tap bench. Them shoot you.

This behaviour of the shooter dey symbolise government. E dey try tell you sey the person e get the gun/money get the power. Wey power dey fit make you mad. So people them get power go fit make you do anything them dey want. If you want stop them, you for get the power some (you for score).

iv. Four corners: 

For four corners inside, four people go set small poles around demma body. Two poles go face each other, four in total. North, East, West, South. Wey dem all go dey face front. The aim be sey you for score any of the other three players take increase your points. This game dey teach strategy and focus. Wey e also dey teach the player sey you for always make prepared sekof you no know wey direction your next blow for life inside dey come from.

v. One sa/One touch: 

This game no sheda be game. Ebi more of rule sekof you go fit apply am to the games e dey top. This rule dey mean sey if you touch the ball you no go fit play am unless somebody else touch am. So once you touch am you for play am towards the direction you dey want. The sense e dey back be sey for life inside opportunity comes but once, so every shot dey count.

vi. Stay: 

This be one of the most annoying games ever –

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It was nearly time for lunch break and the students were tired from focusing on lessons all day. Solomon Forson yawned and shifted his gaze from the doodle on the book in front of him to the teacher droning on about the Fante Confederation. He shifted his gaze back to his doodle, but was startled suddenly by loud booming laughter that seemed…that seemed to come from the headmaster’s office!

9 thoughts on “Solomon Forson, Creative Writer.

  1. Hahaha… This is brilliant, it instantly lit up my cranky mood.
    Driivings, One sa etc the memories
    And oh Forson made salient points he deserved to win the award. GES no try! 😂😂😂😂

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